if u read this, change of plans. Im not going to kill myself. y you may ask....its bc i want to win ur heart back....right now i know ur mad for what i did, thats understandable......but i just cant get u out of my mind or my heart....and y is that? who knows....maybe its b/c wen i was with u, i was more alive and happy than without u. i dnt care if it takes me a life time. but I will try sometime. u may not care. but that doesnt matter. talk to u some other day.......or see u in the future. bye Kacee

If the girl i fell in love with in the past reads this, I just want her to know how sorry I am for what I did. it was evil, i really cant explain y did it, i just know it wasnt me, it was the other me, the me that trys to get out once in awhile, but he died, the real me is here. I know she hates me, and that hurts me, but i know that all the pain i feel snce we broke up is all punishment, and im ok with that. for what i did i should be punished, all the pain im feeling now and then is nothing compared to what she felt at those moments. and i am killing myself, slowly. i want to experience real life again, dont think thats going to happen....that was suppose to happen with my ex. I love her......more than she knows and could understand. but the truth is, when we broke up, I died. im still dead, all anybody see when im around is a empty entity, acting to be normal. but inside all there is, is pain and suffering, and deah. goodbye for now......

I'm leaving DA. I do not belong here, I never did. There's no point in staying when you cant relate to artists. Goodbye DA.

I finally put the first chapter